Some romance ;)

I wrote this two years ago. Thought of posting it only now...

April, 2007

Sometimes it amazing… and sometimes I wonder how and many more times, I ponder why??? Is it something that happens to everyone or am I an exception? Should I rejoice that I am compatible to various situations, that I am adaptable? Or should I shun myself for changing colors and loyalties? And that, at a pace almost as fast as the flutter of my eye-lid.

What a wired dilemma… it’s like asking are the monsoons cool or simply too murky and slushy??? Are the rains just right to drench and dance or to stay away from and never feel the water droplets hit against the dry skin and soak through the layers of clothes…? But all the same, I question myself… and why or rather why not???

Well, its only about 5 months since this man walked into my life… and it wasn’t exactly like waves go dashing into each other or like new blossoms touch each other and spread a wild fragrance… it was like meeting just anyone else… may be at work…may be at a party… just about anywhere… so, I met him one day… and when I met him I never once did expect my heart to do a cart wheel… and to that effect I was right. I didn’t shy, didn’t blush, no super fast heart beats… just nothing to bring an indication of what was to come.

And then, within a few minutes, a relationship was formed, a bond set and a new phase of life opened. It opened quiet so fast that I couldn’t exactly figure what was happening, except that I was smiling all the time, spent very less time at home with family, had no inclination to work, wrote innumerable emails… most one liners, to someone I met like a week ago, and then somewhere down the line, said the three magical words… and even when we exchanged those, it wasn’t like a hurricane of emotions… but was more of a solid grounded feeling; like I would have said it sometime sooner or later.

And then, there was a sudden rush all around me, people, places, relationships out of the blue… everything stood at a hair-pin bend and then, even as I took seven short, tender, yet firm steps safe knowing that my hand was held… everything changed. All within a couple of minutes, the entire scene, the whole world as I had seen it for 24 years… it all changed. Yes, my mum was still my mum and that she would always be. But… now I was also someone else’s daughter (in-law), the only 2 men in my life till then had been dad and bro… and now (legally, cause otherwise the man had walked in about 1 month ago and dad hadn’t spoken to me for over a week when that happened) there was another man… and probably the most important one. Also, the way the world saw me was now drastically different, with many more ornaments adorning me, with more color on my face than I ever wore… and most importantly as someone’s wife…

And after many tumultuous moments in the 5 months that passed since I took those steps and wore the black beads… today when I see myself, I feel more close, more connected to this man who hardly talks, who stays at office 3 nights a week, who is so totally different from me… and yet compliments me so perfectly. Not that it’s not the same with my family… its just that somewhere deep within it seems like he IS family.

And now, when he has gone away… now… don’t mistake that, he’s home for two days and already those two days seem like eternity… most girls would have jumped at that opportunity to go stay at mum’s place… but I… wouldn’t mind going there but would prefer staying at HOME… and when that thought crossed my mind, I set thinking… should I be happy that I am adaptable or should I shun myself for shifting loyalties… but then also, wouldn’t a wife be loyal to her better half… and so, I am to my hubby… he is quiet, peaceful, ambitious and amongst the most love able persons that I have come across… on the day, when I met him, I had no inkling that today, 5 months down the line, I would be swept by such a strong torrent of emotions… emotions of love, of longing, of adoration… all for my Siddhartha…